Hello there. I was talking to a coaching colleague the other day about coaching presence. It’s so important, coaching presence. In fact, one of the most important things I think. If you have coaching presence, then the questions will come up. You’re listening & they will simply come up. Your acknowledgments too, will all come out just from your coaching presence. And by coaching presence, I mean being fully present with your coaching client in that moment and just allowing all of the magnificence between you too to occur.
So we were talking about what is it (?) that helps create a very strong coaching presence in our coaching sessions. And actually it’s what we do outside of our coaching sessions that helps. I know a lot of coaches that prior to their coaching session, they’ll take 10 or 15 minutes and do a visualization, a meditation, yoga, light some candles, anoint with some essential oils, whatever it takes to really, really ground you in the present.
Your self care, whatever it takes for you is the most important thing for your coaching presence. For instance, for me, sleep is a big one. So just making sure that I get sleep… good sleep, the night before a coaching session, any coaching sessions. I coach Mondays through Thursdays. So Sunday night through Wednesday night are nights that I don’t want to stay up late. I want to really get a good night’s sleep so that I can have that good coaching presence.
I have a story that happened to me (my first year of coaching, actually.) It really taught me the value of being fully present in a coaching session. So I was coaching coaches. I was training coaches at my coach training school and one of my clients who I had worked with for about a month (another coach, a young coach) came to the session. She says, “You know, I’m going to be moving in a couple of months and I’ve got a lot of stuff to do. So I’m going to take the next couple of months off of coaching. And can we pick it up? You know, back in about three months.” And I said, no problem because I wanted her to be able to be fully present for her coaching session.
So we started coaching and I asked, “Do you have anything you want to coach about?” She said, “Yeah, when I’m coaching my clients, I’m getting so much out of the coaching session. They’re getting so much out of the coaching session. All kinds of great things are occurring. But when I’m the client, when I’m in my own coaching session, I’m not getting anything out of it.”
So! I was sitting there as the coach thinking, “Oh my gosh! Here’s my client telling me she’s getting nothing out of our coaching session!” And and, I was… for a moment there. … I was kinda clenched. My breath kinda stopped. And at that moment, I took a deep breath. And I was really very present with her. And I asked a question. I don’t know where this came from, but I’m sure it was because I was so present. I said, “Would you like to explore that?”
So I put all of my own stuff aside and said to myself… you know what? Let me serve my client, what’s going on here? And she said, “Yeah, I would”. And so we talked and I asked her questions like what happens in your coaching sessions with your clients? And then what happens in your coaching sessions when you are the client?
It turned out that when she was the coach, she was doing all of these things to be fully present for her coaching sessions,,, her meditations and all of that. When she was the client, she just came on the line without connecting to source, without meditating, without doing any of those things that really brought her fully present. She realized she wasn’t even fully present for her own coaching sessions. And that was a great realization for her. When we finished up our session, I said, “okay, would you like to let me know in a few months when you want to get back together for your coaching sessions?” She said, “Oh, no. Are you kidding? I’m going to be moving in the next couple of months and I need coaching more than ever.”
So is really, really exciting for me that I was present enough to let it go in that moment. I don’t know how it happened, but it was a moment of grace, for sure. And she was really willing to delve into it and trust the coaching process and both of us that she could get through that.
Being fully present, whether you’re a coach or a client in a coaching session, is the most wonderful and effective thing you can do for yourself and for your clients. So that’s my insight for today…my musings for today and story. And I would love if you want to be more fully present and you want more insights like this, I would love to have you in my Coaching Success Club. Connect with me if you have any questions about it. In the meantime….
I wish you lots of love and great joy, Karen