Hi, I wanted to talk to you today about a question that I get quite often from coaches. It’s asked in the Coaching Success Club, it’s asked in social media. They ask everywhere. How do I get more of these ideal clients?.. these high level clients, the greatest clients that I want.
And so I’m going to talk about that today. And everyone is missing a step people that are asking this question are usually missing a step. So there are many ways to get clients: networking, social media, blogs, all kinds of ways,,, pod casts. And yet people are asking me well how do I do these things? And coaches are asking how do I do these things? And the truth is that there’s a step before that. This step will help you figure out the how. It’s the first section of my bestselling book, “The Clients You Are Seeking Are Also Seeking You”. Which this title is a kind of a play on the Rumi quote. So the first section in that book is radiate your true self. Just think about that, radiate your true self. That is what is going to really help the clients that are seeking you to find you.
So the first tip and how do we?… radiate ourselves, especially in marketing and sales when we’re doing things that might feel awkward for us. We’re not used to it as coaches. So tip number one is, “know your essence energy” and be able to get into your essence energy. So your essence energy is the energy that you feel when you’re most alive, when you are most powerful and you could just feel this energy through your body. And I remember, for myself, it helps to have a memory. That helps get into the essence energy and I have this beautiful memory. That always helps me.
And it’s a memory of my father who has since passed it. I think it was his 50th birthday, maybe as 60th. I can’t remember. Anyway we we’re at my aunt’s house in Chicago in one of those basements that were fixed up. And we have this big party. And my father came up to me and he had he had a couple of drinks. And when he had a couple of drinks he was even more loving than he normally was. And he said to me. Do you know how much I love you? That was the question he asked me and he had tears in his eyes. And I said well yeah I think so. And he said no. He said you couldn’t possibly know how much I love you.
And that puts me right into my essence energy, that memory of my father which is so beautiful. So if you have a memory that could put you into that energy that you’re most alive. Keep that in the back of your mind and be ready for that. That’ll help you radiate your true self. And your essence energy by the way, is the energy that you feel when you’re most alive. I’ll give you a couple examples because I always like to think about this.
My essence energy is, “tender exuberance”. So hopefully you’ll see some tender exuberance in this video here. Another friend of mine, her essence energies is a little quieter than mine, more tranquil. She calls herself, “serene heart”. So that’s a quieter type of energy. Someone in a webinar that I was giving in L A said her essence energy was, “tulip”. So it doesn’t really matter what you name. It just matters that you are in it. That’s what you want to go for. So tip number one is, in order to radiate your true self and have your clients recognize you is, get into your essence energy.
Okay tip number two is have some personal guidelines for being fully present. And when I was in coach training we used a set of guidelines to support group agreements, to support everyone in the class to be able to accelerate the learning. And what I realized is that I could use those guidelines as my own personal guidelines. And it would put me into my full presence.
So you want to get into your full presence and have some guidelines to do that. There are a group of guidelines called, “the standards of presence” that I use. Those can be found at inspiredlearning.org. But I’ll give you an example. One of them is practice a positive focus. So you want to practice a positive focus. Practicing a positive focus does not mean always being positive. It just means focusing on the positive. So if you want to focus on the positive and that’s who I am, I’ve always been called like, “a Pollyanna” and it wasn’t that I didn’t get it. It’s just that I knew that focusing on the positive would put me into my full presence. Another guideline that you might use is receive acknowledgement with grace. You know I was always taught to deflect acknowledgement. I was always taught, if somebody gave me a compliment it was like immodest or something like that. And really it’s not. Receiving acknowledgment puts me into my essence energy and my full presence immediately if I let it sink in. So that that’s my job, to let it sink in. So that is one of the standards of presence.
I want to tell a story. I took a plane flight, this is many years ago and I was sitting in the airport with my back against the wall reading a book not bothering anybody. And this woman sits down next to me. And she says I don’t want to get on this plane. And so I started talking to her and ask your questions. The thing is that happened to me all the time and I think it happens to all of us coaches where people just gravitate to us. And at first I didn’t really understand how this happened. You know I would think, “do I have something on my forehead that says talk to me or something.” But really what it was about was when I was in my full presence when I was really relaxed people would come up to me all the time. And I did end up doing some coaching with this woman, informally. So she was thinking me and by my full presence, I brought her in.
So that’s the second tip is having some guidelines for being fully present and know how to shift into those guidelines when you are out of that. When you find yourself out of it, pivot right back in and you can do either one. You can pivot into your essence energy or pivot right into your full presence. These are two tips.
Okay there’s one more tip that I want to give you. When your clients are seeking you and how to help them find you and that is to know your own values. There’s real value in values. We do this all the time with our clients. We helped them through their values. So I remember when I was in corporate and I was president of a semiconductor manufacturing company… this was in another life. Haha… And I remember writing letters at the time and the best closing I could find was, “warmest regards”. And that was the most professional thing I could do and still be true to me because my top value my number one value is love. And in a business setting I had to be really careful about love you know. So I came as close as I could. When I became a coach, I said, “Forget it. I am going to be completely true to myself. And so I sign every email, “Love and Great Joy. And sometimes it makes me a little nervous to send it out, even now to certain people. But I want to bring more love into the world. You know, I want to be able to do that and that’s who I am. And that’s what really makes me happy. And my clients are drawn to me. And all of them are people that I love and they’re drawn to this idea of being able to love and love the world. So that’s another way that you can get your clients, that are seeking you, to find you is really be your true self and show let your values show up in your business.
I have another value of freedom. That’s my second top value and I’m very free with my clients. So if something happens that they need to stop up for coaching or if they need to change the agreement part way through, I always negotiate with them. I always talk to them. I always find out what is going to work for them because I want them to be free. And they’re drawn to me by my freedom. So this is about the clients you are seeking are also seeking you. And remember we started out talking about how the questions on coaches’ minds are all about how I built my website? what’s my niche? what’s my signature program? How do I do all these things? And it seems so overwhelming.
If you first radiant your true self, if you don’t miss this step and you get your values, you understand how to be in your full presence. And you know your essence energy and you go into each of these and live this as much as you can. And by the way, you know there are times when it doesn’t work to be in my essence energy. I will say that but I know how to get back in if you live this. Then your clients will see you and it will be much easier for them to find you and say, “Yes”. You then won’t have so much pressure on your niche or your signature program or anything else. It will take the pressure of everything else in your business, if you will learn to radiate your true self.
So that’s it for today and I hope to see you at my class, by the way. That’s true. I have a class coming up clientsseekingyou.com. It’s a six week course. Based upon my book, The Clients You are Seeking are Also Seeking You. So if you’d like to join us. The link is http://www.clientsseekingyou.com/. I would love to see you there.
By the way if you’re reading this on a later date & the classes are in full swing or done, we will be creating an information product out of it. So you could still go to the page and find it. Find out how to have the clients that are seeking you find you, with ease and joy.